Finding Friends Online
What are the differences between online and real-life relationships?
In so many ways, cyberspace mirrors the real world. People ask for information, play games, and share hobby tips. Others buy and sell products. Still others look for friendship, or even love.
Unlike the real world, however, your knowledge about a person is limited to words on a computer screen. Identity and appearance mean very little in cyberspace. Rather, a person's thoughts--or at least the thoughts they type--are what really count. So even the shyest person can become a chat-room star.
Usually, this "faceless" communication doesn't create problems. Identity doesn't really matter when you're in a chat room discussing politics or hobbies. In fact, this emphasis on the ideas themselves makes the Internet a great place for exciting conversation. Where else can so many people come together to chat about their interests?
But some Internet users want more than just someone to chat with. They're looking for serious love relationships. Is cyberspace a good place to find love? That answer depends on whom you ask. Some of these relationships actually succeed. Others fail miserably.
Online Love
Supporters of online relationships claim that the Internet allows couples to get to know each other intellectually first. Personal appearance doesn't get in the way.
But critics of online relationships argue that no one can truly know another person in cyberspace. Why? Because the Internet gives users a lot of control over how others view them. Internet users can carefully craft their words to fit whatever image they want to give. And they don't have to worry about what their "nonverbal" communication is doing for their image. In a sense, they're not really themselves.
All of this may be fine if the relationship stays in cyberspace. But not knowing a person is a big problem in a love relationship. With so many unknowns, it's easy to let one's imagination "fill in the blanks." This inevitably leads to disappointment when couples meet in person. How someone imagines an online friend is often quite different than the real person.
So, before looking for love in cyberspace, remember the advice of Internet pioneer Clifford Stoll: "Life in the real world is far richer than anything you'll find on a computer screen."