花园里的独角兽 [美国)詹姆斯·瑟伯

[美国)詹姆斯·瑟伯
　　
　　 杨德 译
　　
　　 肖毛 扫校
　　
　　 （原载1980年第3期《译林》）
　　
　　 詹姆斯·瑟伯（James Thurber）是美国现代著名幽默作家。《花园里的独角兽》（The Unicorn in the Garden）①选自瑟伯的《当代寓言》，它以寓言的形式，喻示了真相不明时，不要自作聪明的道理。瑟伯的几篇作品曾被改编成剧本和电影，本文亦为其中之一。
　　 ——译者
　　
　　 从前，在一个阳光灿烂的早晨，有一个男人坐在厨房角落的小饭桌旁，刚从他的炒鸡蛋上抬起眼来，就看见花园里有只洁白的头顶长着金色角的独角兽，在安详地啮嚼着玫瑰花。这个男人上楼到卧室去，见妻子还在酣睡，他叫醒了她。“花园里有只独角兽在吃玫瑰花呢。”他说。她睁开了一只眼睛，不高兴地看了看他。“独角兽可是神兽，”她说完就又转过身去。男人慢慢下了楼，走出屋子来到花园。独角兽还在那儿，正在郁金花丛中慢腾腾地嚼着。“来这儿，独角兽，”男人说，他拔起一枝百合花给它，独角兽悠然自得地把它吃了。由于花园里有只独角兽，这个男人喜出望外，又跑到楼上叫醒妻子。“那只独角兽吃了一枝百合花，”他说。他妻子从床上坐了起来，冷冷地看着他。“你真是个神经病，”她说，“我要把你关进疯人院里去。”这个男人从来都不喜欢“神经病”和“疯人院’这种字眼，在这阳光灿烂的早晨，花园里还来了只独角兽的当儿，听来就更不入耳了。他想了想说道：“等着瞧吧。”他走到门口时又对她说：“它前额当中还有一只金色的角。”说罢，又回到花园去看那只独角兽了。但是，这时独角兽已经走开，这个男人就坐在玫瑰花丛中入睡了。
　　 妻子等她丈夫一离开屋子，就飞快地起了床，穿好衣服。她兴奋激动，眼里闪出幸灾乐祸的亮光。她打了个电话给警察队，又给一位精神病医生打了个电话。她叫他们马上来她家，再捎上一件给疯子穿的紧身衣②。
　　 警察和精神病医生来到她家，坐在椅子上，颇感兴趣地看着她。“我的丈夫，”她说，“今天早晨看见了一只独角兽。”警察瞧瞧精神病医生，精神病医生瞧瞧警察。“他对我说，它吃了一枝百合花，”她说。精神病医生瞅瞅警察，警察瞅瞅精神病医生。“他对我说，它的前额当中还有一只金色的角，她说。这时警察见精神病医生发出的一个正式暗号，便一跃而起抓住了那个妻子。他们费了好大的劲才制服了她，因为她拚命挣扎，但是最后还是把她镇住了。就在给她穿上紧身衣的时候，她的丈夫走进了屋子。
　　 “你对你妻子说过你看见一只独角兽了吗？”警察问道。“当然没有啦，”那丈夫说，“独角兽可是神兽。” “这就是我要知道的一切，”精神病医生说道，“把她带走吧。很对不起你，先生，可是你的妻子疯得跟一只樫鸟一样。”于是，她骂着，喊着，就被他们带走了。他们把她关进了疯人院。从此以后，这个丈夫过得很快活。
　　 喻义：在雏鸟未孵出前，别急着去数蛋。
　　
　　 译注：
　　
　　 ①独角兽相传与马相似，前额正中长有一角，性温和，有“神兽”之称，象征吉祥。
　　 ②这是一种白色紧身衣，有很长袖子，可在疯人身后打结使其动弹不得。
　　

The Unicorn in the Garden

by JAMES THURBER (1894 - 1961)

Once upon a sunny morning a man who sat in a breakfast nook looked up from his
scrambled eggs to see a white unicorn with a golden horn quietly cropping the
roses in the garden. The man went up to the bedroom where his wife was still
asleep and woke her. "There's a unicorn in the garden," he said. "Eating ross." She opened one unfriendly eye and looked at him. "The unicorn is a mythical
beast," she said, and turned her back on him. The man walked slowly downstairs
and out into the garden. The unicorn was still there; he was now browsing among the tulips. "Here, unicorn," said the man and pulled up a lily and gave it to
him. The unicorn ate it gravely. With a high heart, because there was a unicorn in his garden, the man went upstairs and roused his wife again. "The unicorn,"
he said, "ate a lily." His wife sat up in bed and looked at him, coldly. "You
are a booby," she said, "and I am going to have you put in a booby-hatch." The
man, who never liked the words "booby" and "booby-hatch," and who liked them
even less on a shining morning when there was a unicorn in the garden, thought
for a moment. "We'll see about that," he said. He walked over to the door. "He
has a golden horn in the middle of his forehead," he told her. Then he went
back to the garden to watch the unicorn; but the unicorn had gone away. The man sat among the roses and went to sleep.

And as soon as the husband had gone out of the house, the wife got up and
dressed as fast as she could. She was very excited and there was a gloat in her eye. She telephoned the police and she telephoned the psychiatrist; she told
them to hurry to her house and bring a strait-jacket. When the police and the
psychiatrist arrived they sat down in chairs and looked at her, with great
interest. "My husband," she said, "saw a unicorn this morning." The police
looked at the psychiatrist and the psychiatrist looked at the police. "He told
me it ate a lily," she said. The psychiatrist looked at the police and the
police looked at the psychiatrist. "He told me it had a golden horn in the
middle of its forehead," she said. At a solemn signal from the psychiatrist,
the police leaped from their chairs and seized the wife. They had a hard time
subduing her, for she put up a terrific struggle, but they finally subdued her. Just as they got her into the strait-jacket, the husband came back into the
house.

"Did you tell your wife you saw a unicorn?" asked the police. "Of course not,"
said the husband. "The unicorn is a mythical beast." "That's all I wanted to
know," said the psychiatrist. "Take her away. I'm sorry, sir, but your wife is
as crazy as a jay bird." So they took her away, cursing and screaming, and
shut her up in an institution. The husband lived happily ever after.

Moral: Don't count your boobies until they are hatched.

俺粉喜欢这个故事地~~~
作为俗人就不探讨深层问题了...
俺就是喜欢这个故事
就是喜欢喜欢喜欢~~~

光怪陆离的哈哈