The Unicorn in the Garden
by JAMES THURBER (1894 - 1961)
Once upon a sunny morning a man who sat in a breakfast nook looked up from his
scrambled eggs to see a white unicorn with a golden horn quietly cropping the
roses in the garden. The man went up to the bedroom where his wife was still
asleep and woke her. "There's a unicorn in the garden," he said. "Eating ross." She opened one unfriendly eye and looked at him. "The unicorn is a mythical
beast," she said, and turned her back on him. The man walked slowly downstairs
and out into the garden. The unicorn was still there; he was now browsing among the tulips. "Here, unicorn," said the man and pulled up a lily and gave it to
him. The unicorn ate it gravely. With a high heart, because there was a unicorn in his garden, the man went upstairs and roused his wife again. "The unicorn,"
he said, "ate a lily." His wife sat up in bed and looked at him, coldly. "You
are a booby," she said, "and I am going to have you put in a booby-hatch." The
man, who never liked the words "booby" and "booby-hatch," and who liked them
even less on a shining morning when there was a unicorn in the garden, thought
for a moment. "We'll see about that," he said. He walked over to the door. "He
has a golden horn in the middle of his forehead," he told her. Then he went
back to the garden to watch the unicorn; but the unicorn had gone away. The man sat among the roses and went to sleep.
And as soon as the husband had gone out of the house, the wife got up and
dressed as fast as she could. She was very excited and there was a gloat in her eye. She telephoned the police and she telephoned the psychiatrist; she told
them to hurry to her house and bring a strait-jacket. When the police and the
psychiatrist arrived they sat down in chairs and looked at her, with great
interest. "My husband," she said, "saw a unicorn this morning." The police
looked at the psychiatrist and the psychiatrist looked at the police. "He told
me it ate a lily," she said. The psychiatrist looked at the police and the
police looked at the psychiatrist. "He told me it had a golden horn in the
middle of its forehead," she said. At a solemn signal from the psychiatrist,
the police leaped from their chairs and seized the wife. They had a hard time
subduing her, for she put up a terrific struggle, but they finally subdued her. Just as they got her into the strait-jacket, the husband came back into the
house.
"Did you tell your wife you saw a unicorn?" asked the police. "Of course not,"
said the husband. "The unicorn is a mythical beast." "That's all I wanted to
know," said the psychiatrist. "Take her away. I'm sorry, sir, but your wife is
as crazy as a jay bird." So they took her away, cursing and screaming, and
shut her up in an institution. The husband lived happily ever after.
Moral: Don't count your boobies until they are hatched.
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2004-11-15 10:29 PM 发表 | 举报这个帖子 | | |